It's a GIRL :)

At 19 weeks and 6 days, we FINALLY found out we are expecting a daughter! A girl. A little baby girl. I still can't believe it. We had a slight preference for a girl since we already have such a great young man in our lives, but still to be told that your intuition was actually right?! It's the scariest, most amazing thing in the world to be bringing a daughter into the world. Honestly, I'm so much more terrified than if it would have been a boy. I'm such a girls' girl that it seems to be the most natural occurrence in the world to everyone else that I of all people, would be having a little girl. When really, I am so much cooler, calmer and just better around little boys. Challenge of a lifetime right?! I couldn't be more excited. I love our Isabel so much already. I can really feel a special connection to her and I'm so thankful for that.
Our ultrasound went well. I still have yet to gain any weight with her. All the parts look great and she's actually measuring on the smaller side of average, but nothing to worry about. I had to laugh though because there's never been anything small about me ever in life and my baby is on the smaller side? Oh wow! She opened and closed her mouth, gave us a "thumbs up" sign and wiggled like crazy during the ultrasound. I feel her more now, but not nearly as much as she apparently moves in there. It's absolutely breathtaking to see how much she's developed since our 8 week ultrasound. I can't even put it into words. Something else I'm having trouble doing is completing this exercise in my baby book I'm keeping for her. It's a "letter to my unborn child". I could have written 20 pages, but instead, I pretty much wrote this without stopping. They were the first thoughts that came to mind of what I would want her to know if something were to happen to me. I'm pretty sure that wasn't the vibe I should have been going for, but it was all I could come up with for the time being. Here we go :)

My Dearest Isabel,
There is so much I want to say to you, that I don't even know where to start this letter. We are so over-the-moon excited for your entrance into our lives! We have waited and prayed for you for so long and couldn't feel more blessed and happy than we do right now. I have so many hopes and wishes for your life that I could never put them all into words. I hope to spend the rest of my life protecting you, supporting you and helping you achieve your own hopes and wishes.

When I think about bringing a little girl into the world, I'm completely overcome with happiness and love. I've known you were a little girl from the start and I have loved you from the first day I knew you were growing inside of me. I've always been worried about what kind of mother I would be, but that is changing now. I won't be perfect at it and i know I will make mistakes; lots of them, probably. I hope that you always know that I will do my best to put you before myself in every way, try to make decisions and parent with only your best interest at heart. I hope and pray that we have the kind of relationship where you feel like you can come to me with absolutely anything. I hope I can be someone you admire, confide in and enjoy being around...even during difficult times we might have someday.
.
One of the things I hope to teach you is just how much of a world there is outside our tiny corner of it. There is so much to experience, learn and grown from all around us. There will be a time in your life when you think your every happiness depends on if you are well-liked by your peers, a boy you like or if everything in your life is going the way you want it to. Please know that there is so much more to life than these things and nothing lasts forever except love. Things are never as bad as they seem and you will be a better person for not giving in to small-minded thinking. Never forget that you are special. You are different from anyone else that's ever lived.

I hope that you always keep an open mind and heart. The world is a big, scary, awful and sometimes hurtful place. I never want you to be naive about that fact. However, it can also be so beautiful, magical and full of wonder. That's the part of the wold you have to search for and go after yourself. Trust me when I tell you, you'll find it. I hope you always stop to appreciate the so many good things life has to offer. Be humble about your blessings and thank God often..he created this world for us and created you. The world will someday be at your feet, my sweet girl. You will be able to make your mark and I will always be thereto support and encourage you to chase your dreams, no matter what.

I hope you believe in love above all things, the way I did as a young girl and still do. You will always deserve to be loved truly and completely for exactly who you are. Never change for anyone but yourself.  I hope you find true love, the way I did with your father. He changed my life, he brought me to life ways I never thought possible. He's my one true love and waiting for him was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. You are the greatest gift that could have come out of this incredible love of ours. I promise you will always know how much he and I love each other in the way we treat each other and care for one another throughout our lives. You will never doubt that this kind of love is out there and it's there for you as well.

You already have so many people in your life who love you and will always love you. You will never have to question that. Family and true friends are so important and I hope you always surrond yourself with people who love and respect you. I hope that you are always kind to others and try to put yourself in their shoes. Empathy is a virtue that should not be traded for any other. I truly believe you get back what you put into the world. If you remain positive, inspired and kind, I know good things will happen for you.

My little girl, you aren't even here yet and I have thought about your entire life already. Just like so many other mothers say, my greatest wish is for you to be happy and enjoy your life. It's as simple as that.  We are forever bonded as mother and daughter and I will cherish you and our relationship always. You will never doubt our love for you as long as you live and beyond.
All my love,
Mommy

4 months (already!)

I cannot believe how quickly the time has gone by. I'm almost frantic about it, actually. It seems like we just found out yesterday we were expecting and I'm almost at the halfway point! I've found in the last couple of months that I actually get pretty frantic about a lot of things when it comes to this pregnancy. I've had to be talked down quite a few times from spazzing out over little things. I don't let myself get worked up enough to get truly upset to make my BP go up, but still. It's been a crazy ride so far!

Like I've said before, I've been mostly very lucky to have had just a few days of morning sickness (mine seemed to last the entire day though) and just being very tired. However, around week 11 or so, I have found myself with continuous UTI's that just will not go away. Talk about frustrating and uncomfortable. Apparently, I have a rare kind of bacteria growing in my body and happen to be allergic to the best antibiotic they can use to get rid of it and the 2nd best antibiotic, you can't take during pregnancy. So, needless to say, it's been very difficult to treat. As of right now, I'm on my 4th round of antibiotics and praying this round does the trick. I've read it's very dangerous to have a UTI in your 3rd trimester and could cause pre-term labor among other things. Thankfully, this infection hasn't moved to my kidneys, which I'm grateful for. I've also been very dizzy and continue to have frequent nausea. Overall, I'd say my 2nd trimester has been a little rougher than my 1st, which I wasn't expecting at all. However, I know how much worse it could be so I hesitate to complain too much.
The baby's stats are good. Last dct's appt the heart rate was 154, I had lost another 4 lbs (total is 6 since my first appt) and my BP is only slightly elevated. We are going to have to keep an eye on that for sure, but for now, no worries. We are finding out the baby's gender on February 1st! We will have the ultra sound tech write down what we are having, put it in a sealed envelope and since we are going to TH that night, we will take the envelope to my best friend, Ashley. She will open it (when she's not with us) and is going to make  cake with either pink or blue on the inside of it. We are planning to have a very small get together with our immediate families that weekend (during Super Bowl weekend too, yikes!) to find out if it's a boy or girl! When we cut into the cake, everyone will know at once. I love it and can't wait! I wanted to make it a big thing at first and invite lots of people, but like Josh says, it's a personal thing and we don't need 50 people there staring at us or anything. I'll have that enough at the baby shower!

With the New Year just passing, I feel the need to really adopt some better habits before the baby comes. For one, I think it's imperative that Josh and I become more active, because I want my kids to be active. I was , for the most part, a very inactive child. I liked to stay in-doors and read, sing by myself, etc. I loved and was very good at softball, but didn't continue with it after I was 13 years old. I really want my child to be in some kind of sport, dance, or something that keeps them physically active. Of course, I'd love it if they also wanted to do piano, voice lessons or something musical too. I just want it to be the "norm" to take walks with mommy and daddy, go to the park, play outside, etc. My kids will NOT get electronic gadgets, be sat in front of the TV for hours or expect to be entertained 24/7 by their parents as a young child. I don't think anything badly about anyone who raises their kids with these things, I just desperately don't want mine to follow suit. I realize that when I was a kid, things were very different than they are today, but I don't care. I want to read more, so that my kids want to read. I plan on reading to the baby immediately. I also plan on speaking Spanish to the baby immediately and am already picking up some tools to use to teach a baby the Spanish language. I want to find a church, so that it's normal to go to church when the baby comes. I know these are big goals and some people might laugh and think "yeah right, wait until the baby is actually here and see what happens", but these things are very important to me and I plan on keeping them important. I have a somewhat unconventional by today's world, way that I want to raise my children and it might make me the most uncool mom ever, but I hope if I stick to my guns, I'll have good-natured, well-rounded kids because of it. Anyway, these are just some of the things I've been thinking about lately. I don't mean to judge others, but I've really grown into being comfortable with the idea that no matter the outside influences, we get to raise this child with our values, our ideas and the way we want to. I know I can't protect my child forever from the outside world, but at least in the way I live my life and teach them to live theirs (whether it rubs off or not later), I have a chance to do something right in the world. I'm sure I won't be a perfect mom and of course, will make tons of mistakes, but I'm very confident that I can give this child so much love and goodness. He or she will be surrounded by it!

12 weeks

12 weeks...I feel like I've been waiting for so long to get to this milestone. I know I'm not completely out of the woods yet, but this is a milestone that I've very happy to have reached! The last few weeks or so, I've been feeling less and less pregnant for many reasons and have been counting down the days and hours to get to our 12 week baby appointment today. I just wanted to hear the heartbeat and know that my baby was still in there and doing alright. Thankfully, my mind was put at ease :)
I belong to a first time moms birth month (June 2012) club online and it seems like literally on a daily basis 1-3 people say there goodbyes and wish the rest of us luck because theyve gone to their 12 week check ups and found out they lost their babies for one reason or another. I've become more and more afraid this was going to be the case with me that by the time today got here, I was a nervous wreck. I have a bacterial infection that has gotten close to getting in my kidneys and even though I was reassured the baby was fine and wasn't being hurt or put in danger as of yet (an actual kidney infection might be another story), I was still freaking out about it.  I also haven't gained any weight, felt any movement and been barely sick or felt any other symptoms the past few weeks. I've read that it makes girls feel somewhat more at ease when they spend their days with their heads in the toilet because at least they know the baby is in there and they are experiencing normal pregnancy symptoms. I was even getting to the point lately where I was mentally trying to disconnect a little from the baby by not thinking about being pregnant as much and stopping talking to it, etc, JUST in case, I had lost it. Once again, no real reason to think that, but I was almost convinced when we went to the dct today. Not to mention the dream I had last night that I had actually lost the baby while at work.
Once we were there and went through my history w/ the nurse, she got the Doppler ready to listen to the heartbeat. After telling me not to be alarmed if it takes a little time to hear/find it, she started moving it all around to look for the heartbeat. After awhile, she decided to try another machine, because all we were picking up was my heartbeat. After what seemed like seriously forever, she went to go get yet another machine and I couldn't help it....the tears started to flow and I could feel/hear my own heartbeat speeding up and my breathing getting shallow. So much for that disconnecting, huh? All I could do was look at the ceiling and just say "please, please, please God". Finally, she stopped and said "oh wait I think that was it". I snapped my head up a little and strained to listen, but couldn't hear anything at all. She said it was moving around. Finally, finally we suddenly heard a tiny, strong and fast heartbeat of 163 (still higher--girl?). It was like it was saying I've been here the whole time, just hiding out! I cried of course and thankfully Josh was right next to me to comfort me through all of it. I couldn't tell for sure, but I think he and possibly the nurse, were getting worried at one point too. I feel such a huge relief that I can't even explain.
Everything else looked good so far. The dct wasn't fantastic, but she was definitely thorough. She didn't hesitate to comment on my weight and note that I really need to watch it, which I was aware of obviously. So far, I haven't gained anything yet. I think it always startles medical people when I let them know that actually, I already do drink almost nothing but water and don't eat a TON of food at every sitting. It's almost like they get a flash of "well then why do you look like you do" that comes across their face. My BP is good and the infection is getting cleared up. They took a bunch of blood to test and 3 hours later, we were on our way!

Next appt is January 5th...we will find out the gender of the baby the first week of Feb :)

Not so fast!

So, I might of spoke too soon a bit on the whole not experiencing a lot of symptoms. Thanksgiving was kind of a bust unfortunately. Something about all of the smells at once made me literally sick. I got a plate, put one thing on it and thought OMG, I've got to make a run for it. I still managed to enjoy some food, but not nearly as much as I wanted. The day after Thanksgiving was pretty awful. I threw up the entire morning, was super dizzy, pulse racing and just didn't want to move all day. The worst part was that I of course, had plans to see out of town friends and go to my dad's Thanksgiving all in Indy, which I had to abruptly cancel. I just couldn't have made it all that way in the car and then would have been the worst company ever on top of that. I literally stayed in my pj's that entire day and the majority of Saturday. Today was mostly good though. I got to eat a little bit more. Overall, I'd say the vote is that this baby does not enjoy Thanksgiving food. No way. Maybe next Thanksgiving will be better for he or she!

I keep counting various things as being "Baby's First ____" while it's still in the womb. Silly I know, but it's been kind of fun so far. Baby's First Movie: Breaking Dawn (very appropriate I'd say), First Concert: Fleet Foxes, First Family Photo: today, First Thanksgiving: kinda didn't go well, etc, etc. I just want to write all the little things I've thought about so far while being pregnant. Like how it will be #2 for great-grandchildren on one side of the family and #9 on the other and that I'd really like to get a pic with the great-grandparents with a little sign with the number and arrow pointing to my belly. There's just so much to think about :)

It's very strange to experience so many changes in your body. I feel strange sensations all the time and think omg, what was that? Is that normal? It seems like there is a new change everyday and it's definitely an adjustment. I'm ready to not feel this tired. I have a 4:30ish nap everyday that I can't sleep in and I literally feel like I will just topple over asleep if I don't have it. Seeing as though I'm missing it right now, I think I'll save writing for another day :)

Little things

So far so good. I feel really very lucky right now to be experiencing little to no symptoms of pregnancy as of yet other than the occasional wave of nausea and throwing up just twice since finding out I'm pregnant. I have however experienced some weirdness in the past couple of days that I thought I would note in here. One, driving/riding in a car seems to be not good at all. It leaves me feeling dizzy, sick and just gross.Also, last night, on the way home from being gone all weekend, for no apparent reason when talking very calmly about plans for what we need to look at (aka finances) before the baby comes, I burst in to tears without warning and hyperventilated to the point that Josh had to pull over so that I could get some air. I didn't feel sad or upset, it just happened and then almost as quickly, it was over. First significant hormone-y mood shift? I think so! Looking forward to more of that, yeah right :) I've also been incredibly dizzy and nauseated today without much let up. Exhausted. Super exhausted. Other than that, doing well and moving into the 10 week!

Thanksgiving will be 10 weeks and that is when I believe we are going to announce it to everyone (i.e. Facebook). I wanted to (and probably should) wait a little longer, but there has been many almost slip-ups and I don't want to worry about that. I just want to get it out there and let people know. I hope and pray something doesn't happen and I don't also have to announce that. I'm always praying that God will want us to have this baby and that it will be healthy. I'm also going to cut my friends list down. MAJORLY.

I'm reading a lot and have signed up for newsletters and all kinds of stuff that overload me on a daily basis with what I should and should not be doing/expecting. Looking at baby names, since if it's a boy, we have zero names we are able to agree on right now and the girls' name I've had picked out since I was 15 years old is now a variation of the #1 most popular girls name right now (thanks, Twilight). My heart is set on Isabel. Not Isabella or Bella, but Isabel. I'm sure she would be Isabel S. out of 5 girls in each class in school, but I just can't shake it. It was going to be Isabel Sophia, but Sophia happens to be #2 on the most popular list, so we are scratching that. I'd like the middle name for a boy to be after one of my host brothers from the DR, either Luis (Louis) or Fran (Frank). My due date is right in between both of their birthdays, which I think is awesome :) Shantel is the name of my host sister, who I also love and I love her name. I just want the names to mean something, so I'm going to get a list of family names and go from there.

That's all for now. I'm off to my mandated 10pm bedtime that I look so forward to every night. Thankful :)

The best kind of news..EVER.

I took this Halloween off to spend with my best friend of several years, Ms. Amy, in Indianapolis. She is having twin girls in Februrary and I hadn't see her since she told us she was pregnant and was long overdue for a visit. It was so great to talk for hours about her pregnancy, the hopes and fears that come along with this time in her life and hopes and fears for even after the girls are born and grow into adults. I of course, talked about my own struggles to get pregnant over the past year and she equipped me with an ovulation kit, books and all kinds of tools to prepare for and perhaps enhance my chances a bit. She even gave me her left over pregnancy tests from the rest of the box she didn't use because those suckers are expensive. We laughed jokingly as I left to head home saying "ooo maybe these have some luck on them!".

I have been checking every single month to see if I'm pregnant, because after stopping birth control last December, I've been very, very irregular. I didn't have a period in Sept, but checked and nothing. I woke up the next day, Nov 1st and though oh what the heck, it's about that time of the month to check anyway, why not? I did my thing and rushed around to finish getting ready for work. I went back to check and gasped! There was an ever-so-slight second pink line. I said a loud "Oh my GOD!" and ran up the stairs to wake my sleeping husband to make sure I was reading it correctly. After confirming with him, we both sat there on the bed, stunned and smiling. I still didn't believe it, so I went on to work in a daze. I counted down the minutes to my lunch break and took the other test in the package. Same thing. I had to call someone, so who better than the very person who apparently DID give me good luck! Amy was estatic of course, and advised me to get a blood test. We did this and it was confirmed an hour later....we are having a baby!

Since I've been so irregular, I wasn't able to pinpoint how far along I was at all. I was guessing anywhere from 5-13 weeks. It was very scary to think that I might be even out of my first trimester already, so we made an appt asap. We told our families and just a few close friends and made the first dct's appt. I have heard less than great things about the OB doctors around here so we went to TH to Dr. Sakbun's practice. He felt around on my lower tummy and guessed I was no more than 7-7 1/2 weeks and sent us on our way. No ultrasound or anything. Needless to say, I wasn't thrilled about this, nor how quickly we were seen and dismissed, so after careful consideration, we have decided to see Dr. Mahan here in town.

This morning was our first ultrasound...FINALLY. I was so suprised to be able to see the little heart fluttering as soon as the technician put the utltrasound wand-thingy on me. It was absolutely amazing and surreal. He measured the baby to be about 2.2 centimeters at 9 weeks along tomorrow and had us listen to the heartbeat. It became real to me in that moment that there is an actual LIFE inside of me that I'm carrying. I will never, ever forget that feeling. The heartrate was 174 which was on the higher side, but good. They say faster heart beats indicate that the baby is a girl, but we'll see. Truthfully, I've felt like this baby is a girl from the very start, but we would be thrilled for either. I've always felt like I get along so much better with little boys since they are more mild and low-key most of the time. What would I do with a little girl??! Probably turn her into a divalicious drama-queen :)

I've had waves of nausea and I have to eat all the time or I feel very sick. I've only thrown up once and it was because I didn't wake up and have something to eat right away. I'm tired a lot. More tired than I've ever been in my life, but I've read that's to be expected in the first trimester. Plus, with being anemic, I'm really going to have to watch myself and be careful with that. I've been eating very healthy for me. I'm eating lots of fruit and veggies, good breakfasts and drinking a ton of water. I've had a small cup of hot tea about every other day to break up my constant water habit a bit, but since I rarely ever drink soda, I shouldn't have an issue with cutting that out completely. I've had some ice cream and a piece of cake, but other than that, little sweets. It's strange, I think so much about every morsel I consume going directly to this baby and it stops me from wanting crappy foods. I keep dried fruit, granola bars, cheese and crackers on me at all times. Thankfully, when I start feeling queasy, snacking on these things usually stops it immediatley.

Everyone has been so wonderful about this so far, especially Joshua. I thank God daily that I have a husband like him to experience this with. It's something we both have wanted for so long and now it's finally happening. He's been incredibly attentive, wonderful, and nothing short of everything I knew he would be during this time. It's like he is his usual self, but enhanced :) This child is going to have an incredible big brother, which I'm so thankful for and great family members who love it unconditionally. I could not be happier or in a better place in my life for this to happen.

I want to write down everything I experience during this pregnancy, so that I can look back and remember it all. There is so much to think about, plan, do, etc and I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all. I want to relax and enjoy this time as much as possible. Right now, my thoughts are consumed with questions like, what if I'm not a good mother? What if I do something to mess up their life? What if they aren't a good person when they grow up? How can I make sure they love themselves and are confident...especially if this baby is a girl. I'm so so so scared I'm going to do something wrong and there will be irreputable damage to their life. I want this child to grow up differently than I did. MUCH differently. I want the baby to see how much Josh and I love each other and love him or her. I want them to love music, life, God, family, try everything and be inspired. I want them to have big dreams and actually go after them. I want them to be driven, good-hearted, soulful people. I say them because I want to have more than one. For now, right this second, I just want this baby to be healthy and happy. All that other stuff will come, I'm sure. I don't know how you help to mold your child into a good, well-balanced person because I feel like I learned that on my own for the most part. I guess you just do your best and that's all anyone can do. And I won't have to do it on my own, which is so reassuring. I just want this child to have better and be better than me.

So, sometime around June 21st this baby (a Gemini or Cancer, right on the cusp!) we will be bringing a new life into the world. A little Seprodi. I had convinced myself that maybe this couldn't happen; that I wasn't meant to carry a child for whatever reason and now this blessing. I still can't quite believe it, but I'm overjoyed :)

Weight Watchers

This is my 3rd week on Weight Watchers. I didn't get to start it as early as I wanted, but a few weeks ago, I was able to bite the bullet and spend the money. I was super excited about the online program and the ease of tracking points. There is so much at your finger tips with the etools you get once you join...too much in my opinion. I don't know if I need a major tutorial or what, but I've clicked on every tab/link possible and I still don't know what half the stuff is. I'm sure it's very useful, but right now, I only use the points tracker and occasionally the recipe finder. Maybe it's me. I don't have it readily available on my phone (no smartphone here, kids!), so it annoys me to do it anywhere else but while I'm at work with a fast internet that I can just plug those babies in and see where I am point-wise for the rest of the day. Translation: I almost never use it on the weekends. We travel a lot, especially lately visiting family and spending a lot of time outdoors. I just don't use it during this time, nor do I track points by hand because I can't plug them in to decide the point value. Yes, I'm sure buying the little calculator and all the other merch. they throw at you during the meetings would be helpful, but I really don't want to spend a bunch of $. Whiny, I know right? 

I initially tried just doing the online thing alone, but quickly realized the meetings would be the clincher for me. It was even more $, but I think it was worth it. Now lets look at just how "worth it" it is in the numbers. The first week I gained a pound. I wasn't too upset, because this is just how I am when I'm starting a new thing. The next week was just coming off of 4th of July parties, which of course, were nothing but cook-outs with yummy food. I went overboard. I had this terrible, embarrassed feeling walking up to the scales. I knew I hadn't even really tried and it was going to show. Big time. I lost 1.8 lbs. This week I did pretty well for myself and gained .4 lbs. Overall, I'm staying within a 1 lb weight loss/gain. I'm not doing something right, obviously. The lady at the scales gave me a sympathetic, but disapproving smile and said "Hope this week is better for you". That's all I ever go on is "hoping" this week will be different. Hope is kind of the last thing I need right now because all I do is rest on it. 

I noticed that when I'm at meetings, I'm pumped. I raise my hand and answer questions, tell about my struggles and I'm more than willing to hog meeting times to get all my stuff out there. Everything that is talked about during the meetings seems so manageable and doable that I leave super positive and ready to get going on a great week. It takes little more than walking through my front door for those feelings to all but disappear. I can watch all of the moving shows on TV and think if they can do it, so can I! Almost as soon as they end, I'm over it. 

For the past few weeks, I've been getting incredibly shaky when I wake up in the morning and then again right before bed. My heart does a strange skipping of beats a couple of times a day out of no where. I feel like my blodd sugar must be completely out of whack, but I'm too afraid to have it checked out. Until now, I haven't even told anyone about these symptoms. It's like I'm refusing to think that I'll ever go from pre-diabetic to actually having diabetes or something else that is caused by my weight. We are also still having trouble conceiving, which I'm also sure is due somewhat to my weight as well. Why is it that even writing out what I know doesn't convince me that my weight is no longer a back-burner problem. Even if it never truly held me back from doing anything I wanted to do in my life before IT IS NOW. It's all about right now and how the choices I'm making will effect my future, if I even have one.

I think my plan to get help in several different areas with concentrating in one area at a time is just not going to work. I need to address the psychological part of my problem while I'm looking at what I eat and for the love of God, EXERCISE for once in my life. I found an online support group that has conference call meetings on Saturdays. It's free and newbies can call in and join from around the country. I'm going to check it out tomorrow. 

That's all I've got for right now. If it's beyond frustrating reading about how hard-headed/lazy I am, imagine howover myself I am at this point. One of the things we talked about at WW last week was asking ourselves what do we need to succeed at this? No matter what we come up with, write it down. Here's what I have come up with.

1. Knowledge--I need to relearn how to eat, grocery shop, cook (well, learn for the first time really).

                        I need to learn about what I'm putting into my body. I need to learn how to eat for fuel and

                        for enjoyment only.

                        I need to learn how to work out for MY body. Starting off by just doing something is better

                        than nothing though. 

2. Routine-- I need to know what I'm eating at all meals and when those meals/snacks will happen.

                   I need to get physical activity in like it's just part of living; like it's as natural as breathing.

                   I need to plan my life around food and exercise because if not, I won't even think twice about it

3. Time & Money-- pretty self-explanatory. I'd like to say that eating healthy is expensive and if I had a

                               personal trainor than, WOW, I'd be smoking hot, but really, I don't think these are real

                               issues.

4. To live in a plastic bubble where there are no temptations or opportunities to over-ear or not exercise.