It's a GIRL :)

At 19 weeks and 6 days, we FINALLY found out we are expecting a daughter! A girl. A little baby girl. I still can't believe it. We had a slight preference for a girl since we already have such a great young man in our lives, but still to be told that your intuition was actually right?! It's the scariest, most amazing thing in the world to be bringing a daughter into the world. Honestly, I'm so much more terrified than if it would have been a boy. I'm such a girls' girl that it seems to be the most natural occurrence in the world to everyone else that I of all people, would be having a little girl. When really, I am so much cooler, calmer and just better around little boys. Challenge of a lifetime right?! I couldn't be more excited. I love our Isabel so much already. I can really feel a special connection to her and I'm so thankful for that.
Our ultrasound went well. I still have yet to gain any weight with her. All the parts look great and she's actually measuring on the smaller side of average, but nothing to worry about. I had to laugh though because there's never been anything small about me ever in life and my baby is on the smaller side? Oh wow! She opened and closed her mouth, gave us a "thumbs up" sign and wiggled like crazy during the ultrasound. I feel her more now, but not nearly as much as she apparently moves in there. It's absolutely breathtaking to see how much she's developed since our 8 week ultrasound. I can't even put it into words. Something else I'm having trouble doing is completing this exercise in my baby book I'm keeping for her. It's a "letter to my unborn child". I could have written 20 pages, but instead, I pretty much wrote this without stopping. They were the first thoughts that came to mind of what I would want her to know if something were to happen to me. I'm pretty sure that wasn't the vibe I should have been going for, but it was all I could come up with for the time being. Here we go :)

My Dearest Isabel,
There is so much I want to say to you, that I don't even know where to start this letter. We are so over-the-moon excited for your entrance into our lives! We have waited and prayed for you for so long and couldn't feel more blessed and happy than we do right now. I have so many hopes and wishes for your life that I could never put them all into words. I hope to spend the rest of my life protecting you, supporting you and helping you achieve your own hopes and wishes.

When I think about bringing a little girl into the world, I'm completely overcome with happiness and love. I've known you were a little girl from the start and I have loved you from the first day I knew you were growing inside of me. I've always been worried about what kind of mother I would be, but that is changing now. I won't be perfect at it and i know I will make mistakes; lots of them, probably. I hope that you always know that I will do my best to put you before myself in every way, try to make decisions and parent with only your best interest at heart. I hope and pray that we have the kind of relationship where you feel like you can come to me with absolutely anything. I hope I can be someone you admire, confide in and enjoy being around...even during difficult times we might have someday.
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One of the things I hope to teach you is just how much of a world there is outside our tiny corner of it. There is so much to experience, learn and grown from all around us. There will be a time in your life when you think your every happiness depends on if you are well-liked by your peers, a boy you like or if everything in your life is going the way you want it to. Please know that there is so much more to life than these things and nothing lasts forever except love. Things are never as bad as they seem and you will be a better person for not giving in to small-minded thinking. Never forget that you are special. You are different from anyone else that's ever lived.

I hope that you always keep an open mind and heart. The world is a big, scary, awful and sometimes hurtful place. I never want you to be naive about that fact. However, it can also be so beautiful, magical and full of wonder. That's the part of the wold you have to search for and go after yourself. Trust me when I tell you, you'll find it. I hope you always stop to appreciate the so many good things life has to offer. Be humble about your blessings and thank God often..he created this world for us and created you. The world will someday be at your feet, my sweet girl. You will be able to make your mark and I will always be thereto support and encourage you to chase your dreams, no matter what.

I hope you believe in love above all things, the way I did as a young girl and still do. You will always deserve to be loved truly and completely for exactly who you are. Never change for anyone but yourself.  I hope you find true love, the way I did with your father. He changed my life, he brought me to life ways I never thought possible. He's my one true love and waiting for him was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. You are the greatest gift that could have come out of this incredible love of ours. I promise you will always know how much he and I love each other in the way we treat each other and care for one another throughout our lives. You will never doubt that this kind of love is out there and it's there for you as well.

You already have so many people in your life who love you and will always love you. You will never have to question that. Family and true friends are so important and I hope you always surrond yourself with people who love and respect you. I hope that you are always kind to others and try to put yourself in their shoes. Empathy is a virtue that should not be traded for any other. I truly believe you get back what you put into the world. If you remain positive, inspired and kind, I know good things will happen for you.

My little girl, you aren't even here yet and I have thought about your entire life already. Just like so many other mothers say, my greatest wish is for you to be happy and enjoy your life. It's as simple as that.  We are forever bonded as mother and daughter and I will cherish you and our relationship always. You will never doubt our love for you as long as you live and beyond.
All my love,
Mommy

4 months (already!)

I cannot believe how quickly the time has gone by. I'm almost frantic about it, actually. It seems like we just found out yesterday we were expecting and I'm almost at the halfway point! I've found in the last couple of months that I actually get pretty frantic about a lot of things when it comes to this pregnancy. I've had to be talked down quite a few times from spazzing out over little things. I don't let myself get worked up enough to get truly upset to make my BP go up, but still. It's been a crazy ride so far!

Like I've said before, I've been mostly very lucky to have had just a few days of morning sickness (mine seemed to last the entire day though) and just being very tired. However, around week 11 or so, I have found myself with continuous UTI's that just will not go away. Talk about frustrating and uncomfortable. Apparently, I have a rare kind of bacteria growing in my body and happen to be allergic to the best antibiotic they can use to get rid of it and the 2nd best antibiotic, you can't take during pregnancy. So, needless to say, it's been very difficult to treat. As of right now, I'm on my 4th round of antibiotics and praying this round does the trick. I've read it's very dangerous to have a UTI in your 3rd trimester and could cause pre-term labor among other things. Thankfully, this infection hasn't moved to my kidneys, which I'm grateful for. I've also been very dizzy and continue to have frequent nausea. Overall, I'd say my 2nd trimester has been a little rougher than my 1st, which I wasn't expecting at all. However, I know how much worse it could be so I hesitate to complain too much.
The baby's stats are good. Last dct's appt the heart rate was 154, I had lost another 4 lbs (total is 6 since my first appt) and my BP is only slightly elevated. We are going to have to keep an eye on that for sure, but for now, no worries. We are finding out the baby's gender on February 1st! We will have the ultra sound tech write down what we are having, put it in a sealed envelope and since we are going to TH that night, we will take the envelope to my best friend, Ashley. She will open it (when she's not with us) and is going to make  cake with either pink or blue on the inside of it. We are planning to have a very small get together with our immediate families that weekend (during Super Bowl weekend too, yikes!) to find out if it's a boy or girl! When we cut into the cake, everyone will know at once. I love it and can't wait! I wanted to make it a big thing at first and invite lots of people, but like Josh says, it's a personal thing and we don't need 50 people there staring at us or anything. I'll have that enough at the baby shower!

With the New Year just passing, I feel the need to really adopt some better habits before the baby comes. For one, I think it's imperative that Josh and I become more active, because I want my kids to be active. I was , for the most part, a very inactive child. I liked to stay in-doors and read, sing by myself, etc. I loved and was very good at softball, but didn't continue with it after I was 13 years old. I really want my child to be in some kind of sport, dance, or something that keeps them physically active. Of course, I'd love it if they also wanted to do piano, voice lessons or something musical too. I just want it to be the "norm" to take walks with mommy and daddy, go to the park, play outside, etc. My kids will NOT get electronic gadgets, be sat in front of the TV for hours or expect to be entertained 24/7 by their parents as a young child. I don't think anything badly about anyone who raises their kids with these things, I just desperately don't want mine to follow suit. I realize that when I was a kid, things were very different than they are today, but I don't care. I want to read more, so that my kids want to read. I plan on reading to the baby immediately. I also plan on speaking Spanish to the baby immediately and am already picking up some tools to use to teach a baby the Spanish language. I want to find a church, so that it's normal to go to church when the baby comes. I know these are big goals and some people might laugh and think "yeah right, wait until the baby is actually here and see what happens", but these things are very important to me and I plan on keeping them important. I have a somewhat unconventional by today's world, way that I want to raise my children and it might make me the most uncool mom ever, but I hope if I stick to my guns, I'll have good-natured, well-rounded kids because of it. Anyway, these are just some of the things I've been thinking about lately. I don't mean to judge others, but I've really grown into being comfortable with the idea that no matter the outside influences, we get to raise this child with our values, our ideas and the way we want to. I know I can't protect my child forever from the outside world, but at least in the way I live my life and teach them to live theirs (whether it rubs off or not later), I have a chance to do something right in the world. I'm sure I won't be a perfect mom and of course, will make tons of mistakes, but I'm very confident that I can give this child so much love and goodness. He or she will be surrounded by it!